Juilliard or Else Read online

  BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

  My eyes opened at a snail's pace. Are you serious? I groaned, but I didn't shut my alarm off right away, and that resulted with Rachel barging into my room to slam her fist on it to shut it off like she always did when it would wake her.

  "Your clock is super annoying," Rachel huffed, tossing a pillow on my face. I left it there, because the coldness on my hot face was so refreshing from my dream.

  Wow, what a rush.

  If a dream felt that good, I couldn't even imagine what the real thing would feel like. A dead knock sounded on my bedroom door and a very dawdling Jade walked in, landing on my bed face first.

  Her black as night hair feathered around her head as she mumbled "I don't want to go to school," into my comforter.

  I yawned. "It won't be that bad," I grumbled in my tired voice that croaked like a frog.

  "It's gonna suck."

  Rachel came back in and smacked Jade right on her butt, causing her to yelp and jump off my bed.

  "Get up, lazy." Jade tossed over her shoulder at me before she left my room.

  I dressed in my black leotard and black stockings, then pulled on sweats with flat shoes. I got myself ready in ten minutes – pretty good for the first day of school. My hair was slicked back into the bun and when I came out of the bathroom, Jade rolled her eyes. I knew she hated my bun, but I had to wear it back. Rachel made coffee and bagels and then we were off to school.

  "I have to wear it like this."

  Jade rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

  Michael had a cab waiting for us, but since we lived down the street, we opted to walk instead. We made small talk about the weekend; Rachel spilled her guts about her one nighter with Brad, and her face was red as she told us every detail. I think my face flamed up as well.

  "I don't think we'll go any further than that, though."

  "Can you go any further than that?" Jade snickered while I giggled.

  "Shut up! You know, we won't carry on a relationship. What happened Friday was it. We have…"

  "Nothing in common," Jade and I both said at the same time.

  Jade quickly changed the subject. "You excited for your class, Gabs?"

  I thought about it and supposed that other than being bat crazy nervous, I was a little excited. "I guess. Nervous is more like it."

  "I know, my orchestra teacher told us that we will be playing your first ballet in a month," Jade told me.

  "What are you practicing?"

  "He didn't say. I'm sure we'll find out today, though."

  Jade played the cello, but she explained that she would never practice at our place and if she were gone, she'd be at her parents practicing and we weren't allowed to come over.

  "How are things with Tucker, Gabs? Brad told me Tucker can't stop talking about you," Rachel giggled at me and Jade gave her a playful push. I felt my face get warm as I gripped my strap to my gym bag.

  "Leave her alone," Jade defended me.

  "It's fine, we get along great so far. I like him," I nodded, smiling.

  Tucker, oh goodness. Just thinking about his lips against mine made me want to skip school and find him to finish that wonderful dream that I was having.

  Since we lived just down the street, it wasn't that far of a walk. We didn't have any classes together. Rachel was on one side of the building for acting classes, Jade was on another side with orchestra, and I was in the middle for ballet. We split up and of course, in the process of trying to find my first class, I got lost. I even asked people that were walking in the opposite direction where the ballet room was and they all ignored me. My sense of direction was terrible. If you told me to walk in a straight line while chewing gum, I would choke on my gum and possibly fall over my own feet.

  The last bell rung. Running down a long hallway with my ballet bag slung over my shoulder and my class schedule in my other hand, I hoped I was at least headed in the right direction. I was watching the numbers on the doors so I wouldn't pass it. Right when I looked down, the door came up a lot faster than I thought.

  I slid on the floor in my flat shoes, balancing myself with my arms, trying to stop myself, but I fell on my butt with my ballet bag hitting me right smack in the face. I bolted upright off the floor as fast as my body would go, getting dizzy in the process. When I crossed the threshold of homeroom, every girl at the barre was staring at me, including my new teacher.

  "Look who decided to cause a ruckus and join us with her presence."

  My eyes met the lady at the front, tall and skinny with very short black hair.

  "Hello," I waved at her. She folded her hands in front of her and raised a brow at me. So far, this wasn't good first meeting.

  "Get in line," she told me through clenched teeth.

  Quickening my steps over to the corner where we stored our belongings, I shucked off my sweats and pulled out my ballet shoes. I stretched my toes back and forth, then slipped and laced them up tight. I walked over like I was taught to the barre with my head held high, toes pointed with each step. I ended up at the back of the line of the rows of girls, all dressed like me, noticing only one boy in our class.

  "Now that all twenty of us are here, we can begin," my teacher barked. "You all have been selected to take my class for a special reason. You may think you are the best, but you're not. You are here to learn to be the best. Just because you've been accepted, doesn't mean you belong here. There are over one hundred ballet dancers this year, and I expect every one of you to claw your way to the top. I want you to cry, your feet to bleed, and for you to be sore and stiff."

  The girl next to me dropped her head, almost as if she thought she signed up for hell instead of a ballet class.

  "My name is Madame Ava; you will treat me with nothing but respect. You do not talk back to me when I give you direction or a command. You will be on time to class; if the music starts to play when you walk through that door, you will get a warning. You will come to class clean and well put together. Ladies, we have a dress code. Black leotard with pink tights, keep your hair tightly pulled back and off your face. No ponytails or braids; you make it the traditional ballerina bun. Boys will wear a white shirt with black tights."

  The girl next to me grunted. "This lady is intense," she whispered to whom I didn't know. Madame Ava marched right over to us with elegance and beauty, but the look on her face with her blue eyes pierced the girl standing next to me.

  "What did you say?" she gritted through her teeth.

  Just from that approach, you could tell she was mad. I could feel the girl's body go hard and stiff as she stood next to me. Madame Ava stood there waiting for her to answer, but the girl said nothing. She started to shake and stutter, trying to hurry up. Madame Ava's face grew impatient and she started tapping her slipper on the wood floor.

  "What's your name, miss?" she asked annoyingly. Her blue irises started digging into the girl's face. She wasn't giving in.

  "Bethany," the girl's voice shook with each of the syllables of her name.

  "Bethany what? Don't you know how to introduce yourself properly?"

  The girl took in a shaky breath, "Bethany Rackham."

  "Well, Bethany Rackham, you just got yourself a warning on the very first day of school. Switch spots." Madame Ava nodded at me. Bethany looked over in my direction with scared wide eyes and very slowly, we switched places.

  "Good. Now shut your mouth and be respectful."

  Madame Ava walked back to her spot in front of the class. I heard Bethany take a deep breath and I could just tell from the noise that she was going to break down very soon. Bethany was right, though; Madame Ava was gonna be tough on all of us.

  "Dancers are polite to teachers, to guests—anyone who walks through that door. I expect one hundred percent respect. Any rudeness to teachers or your peers will dismiss you from class. We do not lean against any walls, the barre or the piano. If you do not know where to stand, ask me. Yawning, talking, whispering, or having any private giggle session will dismiss you fro
m class. You are here to listen, watch and learn. When I ask a question, I expect you to say, 'Yes, Madame Ava'. Are we clear?"

  "Yes, Madame Ava!" we all called out to her and she nodded her head in approval.

  I knew there would be a lot of rules. Ramón warned me before I even tried out for the Juilliard program.

  "Jasmine," Madame Ava called out and we all watched as the beauty stepped forward to stand at her side. This girl was gorgeous, with her piercing brown eyes as she stared each one of us down. When her eyes landed on mine, she stared me down like something a popular girl would do in high school. This studio was hers and she wasn't going to let anyone take it. And I wasn't going to take her staring at me. I made it here; I deserve this just as much as she did.

  "Jasmine here is a second year and one of my top students. If I am not here, I expect you to listen to her as if she were me. Is that clear?"

  "Yes, Madame Ava!" we all announced together.

  "Very good. Jasmine, you may return to the leading line." Madame Ava held out her hand, guiding her back to the front of the line. Jasmine strode with grace as she walked back to the barre. "I expect you all to line up at the barre. Same place as the day before. Jasmine is the head of the line. You do something wrong, and you can expect to be at the end of the line like poor Miss Bethany."

  As a class, we all turned our heads in time in Bethany's direction. I shifted on my feet, but tried my best to keep my back straight and eyes forward.

  "Let's begin," Madame Ava clapped at us.

  We started with stretching–first with our left legs, placing them on the barre and then bending forward, touching our toes for a deep stretch. Holding that position for thirty seconds, we then switched to the other leg. Then we all squatted down on the tips of our toes, holding onto the barre with our hands, finishing with lunges on both legs.

  Madame Ava made it to each one of us as we stretched and warmed up our muscles. When she made it to me, she pulled on my shoulders, straightened my spine, and lightly tugged on my bun to line my head up with my spine as straight as I could go.

  "Now, all face me." And just like we are her little puppets, we all turned. "The first ballet we are going to practice for is Swan Lake. I expect all girls to try out for the part of Odette and Odile. It's going to be a tough part to play, with being beautiful one scene then evil the next."

  My insides jumped up and down. I had been practicing my soul out for this dance. I worked on it just a couple of weeks ago with Ramón. Madame Ava started the music and gave us instructions to complete these turns with leaps.

  Of course, Jasmine went first. Her position for a start of pirouette was perfect, her back perfectly straight with her stomach was tucked in. Her front arm opened with grace as she propelled her turn for a one single pirouette up on her toes, ending flawlessly with a quad pirouette.

  The rest of the team did their turns of a pirouette, some losing their balance and stumbling. Madame Ava didn't even give them a second chance as she just moved onto the next person.

  The closer Madame Ava got to me, the more I wanted to run out the door. I was afraid I would fall. I knew how to spin en pointe during a pirouette, but it was being under the pressure that had me so nervous. I started to breathe heavily, shutting my eyes and focusing on the sound that filled the room. The classical music of Swan Lake was very soothing as the violins played.

  Madame Ava then chose that moment to clear her throat at me. I opened my eyes and she was standing in front of me. I held my breath. Her lips were pressed together in a hard line, her hands laced together, waiting just for me to begin. I stepped away from the barre and positioned my legs just like I was taught. My spine straight, head high and aligned with my back, my arms in a circle in front of me for balance, I turned en pointe to complete my quad pirouette. I ended nicely without falling and I smiled to myself for not messing up in front of class.

  "Very nice. One thing, though," Madame Ava said to me while raising a brow.

  "Yes, Madame Ava," I replied, slowly inhaling, trying to catch my breath.

  As Madame Ava's eyes moved down my body, I sucked in my stomach and stood up as straight as I could go, locking my knees as her eyes finally rested on my feet. My toes were facing out with my heels together. That was how a ballerina was supposed to stand in line, but when I looked down, my drawstrings on both ballet shoes were sticking out and hanging off the sides. I shut my eyes and waited for the mortification to start in on me.

  "Ladies and one gentleman, can anyone tell me what's wrong with her shoes?" she announced to the class.

  I wanted to run and hide. This is what I was afraid of, being an embarrassment in front of my class; it's the last thing I ever wanted.

  I heard Madame Ava call on the one person who I knew would want to give me the shaft.

  "Jasmine."

  "Her drawstrings on her ballet shoes are sticking out, which is a disgrace and not very polite to have happen while in class. The ballerina can trip and fall, hurting herself. Madame Ava, we wouldn't want that at all."

  I looked up and over at Jasmine, her hand on her chest, acting like she really cared for my safety. Madame Ava's eyes rested on my face, my chest rising and falling with each passing second.

  "This is a safety issue. Don't let it happen again." Then she moved on to Bethany. I peered over at Jasmine who had a smug smile on her face, like she owned this classroom, which pissed me off.

  When class was over, I put my sweats back on with my flats. My feet were sore. I just wanted to go home and soak them in warm water with some bath salts. My phone chimed deep in my bag. Good thing class was over or Madame Ava would have had a huge fit. Opening my phone, I saw one new message from Tucker. I smiled at the warmness pooling in my belly and then my face flamed up at the remembrance of the dream from this morning. I opened the text:

  Tucker: Hey baby girl, hope ur day is goin good… thinkin of you

  I felt all giddy as I read his message over and over. I quickly replied.

  Me: Day is great. Class just ended.

  I waited for my phone to go off again, but it didn't. I stuffed it back in my bag and left the ballet room. My schedule at Juilliard was simple: one class and that was it, but the class was three hours long, Monday through Friday, so we were done by noon. I knew that Rachel's class was the same and we agreed to meet each other out in front of the building. I rounded a corner to go there, but Jasmine stepped in front of me, blocking my path.

  The look that she was giving me was nothing but rotten; it was obvious she didn't like me. News flash, I wasn't a big fan of hers, either.

  "You better not screw up this year's performance. Top of the line directors are coming this December and April for our biggest shows. So, next time, tuck in your stupid draw-strings before you make us all look stupid."

  She then turned and left. I grumbled to myself. Yep, I didn't like her at all. I met Rachel outside, who was beaming with the biggest smile on her face. She was a very gorgeous girl with her long red hair and fair skin. I'm glad that I got to spend more time with her. Even though Jade and I get along really well, I wanted to be close with Rachel, too.

  "What's with the big smile?" I asked while pulling my strap higher on my shoulder. She just linked her arm with mine and off we went in the direction of the little café across the street.

  "I think I'm in love."

  I pulled back to look at her. "What? With Brad?"

  "Pfft, no. There's this really hot guy in my acting class, totally swoon worthy," she said as she dropped her head on my shoulder and we crossed the street. We ordered our drinks. I got a latte and Rachel ordered her hot chocolate, going outside to sit on the terrace to watch the cars passing by.

  "What's his name?"

  She shrugged while blowing on the hot chocolate. "I don't remember."

  "Rach, how can you say you're in love if you don't even know his name?" I asked as I took another sip, waiting for her to answer me.

  "Because he knows how to kiss a girl," she giggled.<
br />
  "You kissed him?"

  "Yeah." She acted like it wasn't a big deal. "It was part of a scene, Gabs."

  Oh, yeah. Acting.

  "MmHmm.."

  "How are things with Tucker? I know you two are getting pretty close," she said as her brows did a little dance above her green eyes.

  I tossed the idea around in my head. It was true, I wanted to get close to him, and he seemed pretty into me, too.

  "It's going," was all the information I was going to give her about that. Rachel begged me to give her more details about kissing him. Plus, she saw that we snuggled and slept on the couch.

  We talked about little things, mostly just getting to know one another. Rachel explained her mom and her love of shopping to me, but I already knew that. I witnessed it on Saturday. I told Rachel about Carol and went into more detail about our coffee afterward. Rachel wasn't a big fan of Carol after I told the story of her smacking me the day I moved in the apartment.

  "God, no wonder you were such a mess. I honestly didn't know what to do with you being so quiet and shy. I wouldn't have suggested watching the porn if I had known."

  I shrugged, "It's not a big deal."

  "It kinda is; I didn't know how strict of a background you came from. I know my mom loves you – said she couldn't wait to see you again."

  "Your mom is so sweet. I wished I would have known my birth mother. I wonder if I am like her."

  Rachel leaned across the table to pat the top of my hand. "I think she would be proud of you for getting into Juilliard if she loved ballet, and for dealing with that rude woman you call a stepmother."

  I smiled at her and laughed a little bit, "I know for a fact that she would hate Carol."

  "Ain't that the truth? When do you have to see Carol again?"

  "My dad has a dinner for his firm on Saturday. I should probably go get a dress or something."