Juilliard or Else Page 5

  "She loved the name Abigail and wanted to call you Gabby. Believe it or not, she also loved going to ballets." He reached out and took my necklace between his fingers. "This was Shannon's as well." My heart sank and then shattered into a million pieces. I had something to keep close to my heart – something of hers that I could always cherish. I couldn't believe he gave me something like this.

  "Why didn't you tell me?" I kept my head down, wanting to know why he could keep something like this from me.

  "Carol couldn't have children and she didn't want to adopt. We wanted to wait until you were ready, angel."

  "Don't you think you should've told your daughter that her mother isn't really her biological mother? Dad!" I felt angry, but I couldn't get my anger to boil up. I just kept still as possible, staring at the picture of my biological mother. The thought crossed my mind as to why Carol couldn't have children. Plenty of lonely children needed homes; why not adopt?

  "I know I should have told you earlier on, but I couldn't."

  "That doesn't make it okay, Dad."

  "I know – I'll always regret not telling you sooner," my dad huffed and checked his watch. "Come on. Carol is probably wondering where we are, and you need to get going to your new place soon." He stood up from our bench and grabbed my hand, not waiting for a response from me. I tucked the picture of my mother in my pocket. Kids laughing throughout the park made me wonder that if Shannon was still alive, would my childhood have been happier?

  When we came out from the park, I saw Carol standing with the door open to her Bentley Mulsanne; of course she had to have the flashiest car in town. She had my giant purple bag containing my ballet slippers and leotard, and she carried my black leather jacket across her arm. As we approached her, my dad took my jacket and slipped it on my shoulders for me.

  "Thank you, Daddy." I smiled at him. Carol cleared her throat at me, knowing very well I used daddy instead of father like I learned in my etiquette school. I looked directly in her eyes, "Yes, Caroline?" Her eyes widened in shock and she looked at my dad with a disturbed gaze. "Yes, he told me everything," I snapped as I stepped towards her. "You never lay another hand on me." Finally, I felt like I had some sort of power over her.

  I turned back and stood up on my toes to kiss my dad's cheek. I gave him a small smile and then climbed into the car. I shut the door and looked out the tinted window, seeing neither of them saying anything to each other. Carol turned away and walked to the other side and slid in next to me. Tension filled the expensive car along with Carol. She usually brought it wherever she went. I don't know how long I stared out the window until Carol finally started talking to me.

  "Abigail," she said in a whisper.

  "Don't, Carol," I barked at her as the car pulled away from the curb.

  "No, Abigail, listen to me."

  "You're not my mother." I glared at her.

  "You're right, I'm not. I wish I was. I very deeply wish I was." I snorted; her expression went a little more miserable than usual. Carol's eyes were pleading with mine, asking for forgiveness. "I'm sorry I smacked you; I don't know where that came from." She reached over and brushed my cheek with her fingertips. I tensed up at her soft touch.

  "It doesn't make it right, Carol."

  "I know. I'm very ashamed of myself that I stooped that low to do such a thing."

  Silence then remained in the car until we reached my apartment. My apartment was about a seven minute drive from my parents' house, plus it was close to the school, so I didn't have to worry about a driver taking me there. As the car came to a stop, Carol reached over and grabbed my arm. "Your roommates should already be here or on their way. It's apartment 22A with a gorgeous view of the park; you'll like it." She held out a key to me and I took it.

  "I'll like it because you won't be there to yell at me all the time." I glared at her once more and ripped my arm out from her grasp. Not bothering to say good-bye, I turned my head and climbed out of the car, seeing Andrew at the back of the moving truck waiting for me.

  "Hey, Andrew." I smiled as I approached him and his waiting crew. "It's apartment 22A; here's the key, just go on up." I pointed above me. The other men opened the big truck door and started unloading my things out of it. I looked back at the car to see Jordan, our driver, wave me over. Carol's window rolled down and she had her laptop open on the armrest in front of her, her manicure fingernails clicking away on the keys.

  "Your father has a dinner for his firm next Saturday. I will email the information to you. Good luck, Abigail." The window rolled back up and the car sped off, and just like that, she was gone.

  Finally feeling free, I tipped my head back to breathe in deeply, and for once, I actually took the time to smell the scent of freshly baked bread in the air. I listened to the cars honk at each other and the squealing brakes as the taxis passed by me. While the workers unloaded my things, I turned my head to have a glance around at my surroundings in my new neighborhood. I saw a guy wearing a hood standing in front of a dumpster a little ways down in the alleyway, watching me. Before I knew it, I smiled at my first stranger with kindness.

  I was dead nervous as I made my way inside the building where I saw our own doorman whose name was Michael. I introduced myself and he asked if I needed anyone on the approved list of people who were allowed up to my apartment, and I just told him my dad, David, for now. Carol could soak in my anger a little longer. I knew if I let her come up into my apartment, she would definitely change it around and voice her opinion on my décor skills, unless she had already decorated it herself.

  I stepped into the waiting elevator Michael held open for me. I was a nervous wreck to meet my roommates who must think I was a spoiled brat because Carol wouldn't let us stay in the dorms on campus. I shut my eyes and focused on the motion of the elevator that was taking me up to the twentieth floor.

  I stood in front of the white apartment door and stared hard at the gold numbering of 22A. I heard the other two girls' muffled voices inside the apartment as they waited for my arrival. Take a deep breath, Abigail. They won't bite, I told myself, but this was a huge deal for me. I'd never hung out with girls before; I was never allowed to have friends if I wanted to dance. Now I had roommates. I gripped the cool gold knob and gave it a twist to reveal my new place.

  As I stepped inside, I was taken aback by the large amount of space. Right in front of the entryway was the living room with a red couch facing a big flat screen TV on the wall and some black sitting chairs on either side of a black coffee table. I approached the gorgeous floor to ceiling windows that covered the entire living room, showing me a breathtaking view of Central Park. We were on the twenty second floor and this is what Central Park looked like from up here? I could live with this, even though Carol the bitch picked it out.

  A sliding door led out to the balcony with three lounging chairs ready for us, thanks to Carol's doing, I was guessing. She'd want to make sure we got nice and cozy in her living arrangements. However, an ashtray sat on the little table with one cigarette burning away the last bit of tobacco. I knew Carol didn't put that there.

  Taking a deep breath through my nose, I looked out at the top of the green trees of Central Park and heard the girls hush each other. It was all quietness now in the living room. I was sure they were listening for me, so I continued to walk around, knowing my boots were making noise as I moved around the spacious living room and then ended up back at the window.

  Then I heard them talking. "Do you think that's her?" one asked.

  "Yes, and be nice, Jade," the other answered in a loud whisper.

  "I always am, dumbass," the other scoffed.

  I stifled my laughter as they came out of the hallway and around the corner to stand in front of me. Butterflies ran through my veins and landed in the pit of my stomach as they both stared me down.

  They were both striking in their own individual way, and with very different types of faces. The girl who stood right in front of me had red hair with brilliant green eyes. Her
hair wasn't the kind of bright red you'd usually expect, but softer. She was thin like me, but had legs that looked miles long in her white skinny jeans and black heels.

  The other girl had black as night hair with a pale face and wore black clothes. She was standing behind the redhead with her arms folded at her waist.

  "Hey you, we've been like dying to finally meet you," the gorgeous redheaded girl said to me with a little smile.

  "Yeah, you took freaking forever to get here, too," the black-haired girl said while moving out from behind the other to stand at her side. I was shocked at her beauty. Who knew darkness could give off so much light?

  Dressed in complete black from head to toe, her skin was very pale with beautiful, shiny black hair that framed her face. Black eyeliner was drawn around her ice blue eyes, making them stand out clearly from her pale face; they reminded me of the Caribbean ocean against the white sand.

  Ignoring her friend, the beauty in front of me started talking again. "Just ignore Jade." She gave Jade a shove at the shoulder. "I'm Rachel Dawson or Ray as Jade here calls me. We've been friends since we were toddlers." She smiled happily at me again, showing off her pearly straight white teeth through her pouty lips.

  Giving a small wave, I said, "Hi, I'm Abigail."

  "Abigail?" Jade raised a brow, "Oh, hell no. That won't work for me, you sound like a grandma. You got a middle name or something?"

  Rachel elbowed Jade in her side. "She's Jaiden Monroe by the way. She's just the daughter of Satan; ignore her PMS stage." Rachel smirked.

  "Too far, Ray, plus it's a dude's name," Jaiden whined. "Just call me Jade."

  I'm definitely going to need to get used to them if they bickered like this back and forth. I was only used to Carol's bickering at my dad and me. Now I had roommates. I thought of what my dad told me not too long ago about my name. "She loved the name Abigail and wanted to call you Gabby," my dad's voice rang through my ears.

  "My mom wanted to call me Gabby," I muttered. Still in shock a little bit about saying mom and not meaning Carol.

  "What do you mean wanted to call you?" Jade asked plainly at me.

  "She died." It wasn't as hard to say as I thought. I bit my bottom lip, waiting for them to respond.

  Rachel's brows shot up and she looked at Jade. Quietness roamed the living room. "Awkward," Jade mumbled under her breath, "but Gabby it is!" She then yelled through the open space of the apartment, raising her hands in the air like she just discovered something remarkable. It was obvious she was trying to ease the tension I had just created with the little tale of the death of my mother.

  "Chill, chick," Rachel said while grabbing Jade's arms to put them back down to her sides. "Have you already seen the place?"

  I shook my head.

  "So, the lady who bought this place is what…your stepmom?" Rachel questioned me, raising yet another curious brow.

  "Yeah, stepmom." For some reason, that didn't feel weird to say at all; it felt right more than wrong. She had always felt out of place in my life – never comforted me when I was sick and didn't praise me for anything. Only punishment came from her mouth.

  "So your stepmom didn't show you the place before?"

  Why did I feel so embarrassed about that question? Shifting from foot to foot, I mumbled, "No, she just bought it without me or my dad seeing it." I gripped my purse tighter. My knuckles were turning white from death grip I was giving it.

  "No shit," muttered Jade and tilted her head to the side.

  I looked over and met Jade's gaze; she was staring at me with this dumbfounded look in her blue eyes. That made me relax just a little more and I eased my grip on my purse.

  "No shit," I said quietly, ending with a smile and swearing for the first time. Friends could change you in a blink of an eye.

  Carol would be furious if she heard my mouth just now. I was actually swearing in front of people without feeling the restriction of having to watch my language, I was going to take advantage of it and enjoy it.

  "Well, I'm going to go finish my cig." Jade turned and left the room, leaving Rachel and I alone.

  "Let's have a look around," I stated.

  Rachel backtracked through the apartment and showed me the kitchen first. It was to the right of the front door. The cabinets were gorgeous mahogany with black countertops and stainless steel appliances. I walked over to the fridge and pulled open the door, wondering if it was empty, but I was wrong. It was very well stocked to the brim with water, juice, fruit and all the necessities to cook something. When I opened the pantry door next to the fridge, we saw that it was also well stocked with everything you could imagine from the regular things: flour, sugar, crackers, noodles and lots of water.

  "What you going to Juilliard for?" Rachel asked.

  "Ballet. You?" I asked, shutting the pantry door and facing her.

  "I'm going for acting – going to be a Broadway star like my mom, but I'm going to LA to make the big bucks. And Jade is studying artistic drawing and plays the cello."

  The gothic girl played the cello…didn't see that coming. Wonder how she sounds.

  "So how old are you?" Rachel asked me unexpectedly. I could tell she was trying to get me to open up as much as possible.

  "Nineteen," I answered, not meeting her eyes as my fingertips brushed against the cool countertop.

  "Nice. Jade and I are nineteen, too."

  Looking up, I said, "You two seem close."

  Rachel shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, known each other as long as we can remember, she's…special."

  "What do you mean by special?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

  Rachel held up her hands "Oh, she's not slow or anything like that, just…special."

  I was still confused as to how she meant Jade was "special". Clearly seeing the confused look written all over my face, Rachel let out a long breath through her mouth and approached me slowly; we didn't say a word to each other as she reached for my hand to slide my sleeve up to my elbow.

  Watching her move in slow motion while all you could hear was our shallow breaths, Rachel turned my arm so my wrist was face up. She dragged her French tipped fingernail across the veins on my wrist. I let out a gasp in shock, my head snapping up to meet her saddened green eyes.

  "You're serious?" I questioned her gesture. Rachel didn't answer me; she just nodded and then turned around and left the kitchen.

  Jade hurt herself – like physically cut herself. Didn't that hurt or bother her at all? I was surprised someone could do that, but in a way, I wasn't one to talk. I made myself throw up to feel the burning pain of the acid coming up my throat. I'd always heard people complain about throwing up, like it was the worst feeling they could ever feel, but yet, I embraced it every time I did it. I was the one who was the biggest baby when it came to getting a paper cut. Cutting yourself was entirely different, but not much from my situation. I felt sick for Jade; maybe she and I could get to know each other better and help each other out.

  I found Rachel in the living room, looking out the window at Jade. In just a couple short steps, I was at her side. I felt strange watching Jade sit out there, smoking alone.

  "She's my sister," Rachel whispered, her voice going into the high pitch squeak as if she was going to break down any second.

  Looking up at Rachel, I witnessed tears in her eyes. Feeling a little uncomfortable, I decided to take a chance, placing my arm around her waist to give her a little squeeze of comfort. She looked over at me and placed her arm around the tops of my shoulders, and just like that, we became good friends. Something inside of me bonded to this girl I only met five minutes ago.

  "You're a good friend, Rachel," I told her. She dropped her head and dabbed under her eyes, trying not to let the tears fall.

  "Let's find your room," she said as she patted my hand on her waist.

  The dining room was in the same room as the living room; the wall that I passed into the hallway contained our fine dishes and glass cups. Around that were shelves holding
many, many books. Walking past it and down the little hallway, I could see a room straight in front of us, but Rachel turned to the first door on the left and moved inside.

  "We didn't choose any rooms, yet. We wanted to wait for you, but this room shares a bathroom right through that door."

  The room was very big with hardwood floors, tan walls, red bed sheets and a fluffy white comforter. A door to the right led to the bathroom that had another door on the other end leading into the next room. The bathroom was very nice as well; it featured red tile work and mahogany cabinets just like the ones we had in the kitchen, a glass shower, and a big Jacuzzi bathtub in the middle. There was also a toilet in the corner closest to the first room. Carol really outdid herself picking this place out.

  I moved into the next room and the decor was just the same as the first. I went across the hall into the third room to find Jade laying in the middle of the bed with her feet up on the wall. This room was decorated just the same.

  "Hey Gabs," she greeted me. "I call dibs on this room. You freaks were too slow to choose." I looked around and Jade had already put a couple of posters on the walls. They were of dark bands I never heard of; I definitely had some catching up to do to get to know each one. All I knew of was Pyotr Llyich Tchaikovsky and some country, but that wasn't saying much.

  "Okay, babe," Rachel said to her. "This is the only room that has its own bathroom."

  "Ha! That's right and I took it from you bitches."

  I burst out laughing at Jade and her upfrontness.

  She really was a funny girl with all her cursing; I knew I was going to like just being around her. She made me feel at ease with everything and didn't take things so seriously.

  Rachel nudged me to stop laughing, but I couldn't help myself; I kept laughing. She then pushed me and I toppled on the bed right next to Jade. Rachel crashed on the other side of Jade, and just like that, the three of us were sharing a bed within the first day of meeting each other. It was a nice feeling, being able to click with certain people right away.