Juilliard or Else Page 9

  My conscience screamed at me to do something, flirt, talk, smile at him. While I debated with myself, Tucker spoke.

  "Are you coming to the club tonight?"

  "Maybe," I tried to flirt with him setting the book back and picking up another to start fake scanning, "why, you want me to go?"

  I softly hear footsteps come up behind me, his chest barely touching my back, light as a feather.

  "I most definitely want you to be there." His knuckles brush my upper arms, and I catch my breath. My hands started to shake as I tried to hold the book up to pretend to read the back. But truth be told, my vision started to go blurry because I was staring too long in one spot, taking in the feel of his fingertips on my flesh, concentrating more on my breathing, trying so hard to even it out. But it wasn't working. How badly I wanted to lean against him.

  His breath hot on my earlobe as it travels down the front of my neck causing me to shudder. Giving in at my body was wanting, leaned back onto his chest. I turned my head, our mouths a hair follicle away from each other.

  Oh, I want his lips to kiss me. His blue eyes blaze so hot into mine, I find myself leaning forward towards him. But he pulled back and stood up straight, slightly moving away from me.

  "I'll see you there then."

  Tucker turned on his heel, and left me. Now, I was gawking at him as he left the bookstore, with this odd feeling racing through my veins. Man, what's the matter with me? I've only known the guy for a flippin day. One part of me was screaming, too fast. Slow down. But the other part was thinking about his gorgeous blue eyes, his smoldering smile with that perfect dimple in his left cheek and all I wanted to do was run my fingers through that thick mess he called hair. All my thoughts about too fast went right out the window and the little devil on my shoulder jumped for joy.

  I sat on the toilet as Rachel teased the crap out of my hair and every time I said "ow" or whined from the evil pull, she would smack the top of my head with the brush. I ended up spilling my guts to both Rachel and Jade about Carol. Told them everything, well…except for my purging. Even though Jade already knew, Rachel didn't and I was going to keep it that way.

  I explained about Carol not being there, and the pressure she always put me under. Then about yesterday and how my dad told me about Shannon. Every time I thought about my birth mother, I would grab my necklace and slide it back and forth on the chain. I wondered what kind of mother she would have turned out to be. If she would have put pressure on me or just let me be my own person. Rachel gave me a small frame that fit the size of Shannon's picture and I put it on my nightstand.

  Rachel pulled my hair again and I screamed.

  "Oh baby, knock it off," she scolded me, "you're being a wimp, even Jade doesn't complain when I do her hair."

  "That's because I don't let your nasty hands touch my hair."

  I giggled as Jade entered our bathroom and climbed into the tub, crossing her ankles with her arms around the rim, making herself right at home in the jetted bathtub. Jade still hasn't changed to go to the club.

  "Why aren't you dressed yet, Jade?" I asked, as I looked around Rachel and she hit me again on my head with the damn brush, obviously telling me to hold still. "Gah, would you stop hitting me?" I whined.

  "Hold still and I'll hurry faster," Rachel argued back at me while I glared at her.

  Jade chuckled and stared up at the ceiling, "I feel so bad for you right now."

  Not coming to my rescue, Jade just sat back in the whirl tub and watched Rachel dress me up like her own personal Barbie doll. When my hair was done, make-up was next. I opened and closed my eyes so many times they were starting to dry out. She put many coats of lipstick on my lips, then stuck a piece of toilet paper out and told me to blot.

  Wide-eyed I asked, "Huh?"

  Rachel rolled her eyes at me, "Open your mouth." I did and she put the toilet paper almost in my mouth, "Now smack your lips together," and when I did, my lips stuck to the toilet paper.

  Rachel patted my shoulder, "Okay, now you're done."

  "Good," Jade mumbled under her breath, "I can't watch anymore."

  My butt was seriously completely numb from sitting here for too long. I stood up and looked in the mirror.

  Holy, crap.

  My jaw dropped in awe as I took in my new look. My blonde hair was in long loose curls with some poof. I'm guessing that's why she would tease my hair then brush it out a million times. My make-up was heavy on my eyes, but made the caramel color stand out. I must admit, I looked good, really good.

  "Rach, I'm pretty," I smiled, the red lipstick making my pale skin and teeth stand out.

  "Freaking gorgeous. Now let's go," Jade got out of the tub and left the bathroom.

  "Yay," Rachel clapped her hands in approval, "now, go get dressed," She jostled me in the direction of my bedroom. Then I remembered the outfit Rachel insisted I buy.

  Oh crap.

  I pulled out my shopping bag containing my still tagged clothes and dumped them on my bed. I held up the very short black skirt and purple tube top. I really didn't want to wear this; what if I fell out everywhere?

  Oh boy, I was suddenly very nervous to go out into public and wear this, but I had to pull up my big girl panties and suffer through it.

  Wait. I paused in the middle of tearing off a tag, what panties should I wear?

  "Rach!" I yelled and looked at Jade, who smirked at me. I knew she was thinking the same damn thing I was.

  "Yeah?"

  "What a…what underwear should I wear with this?"

  She laughed at my question, causing Jade to laugh and collapse down on my bed.

  "Hey guys stop, I'm being serious here," I put my hands on my hips and let them cool off as I started taking my shorts and shirt off.

  "Oh Gabs, you're funny," Jade exclaimed at me.

  I ignored her; if they weren't going to answer my question, then I had no choice but to wear my black panties. I pulled them out of my side dresser drawer when Rachel snapped them out of my hands.

  "You're not going to wear the grandma panties; I actually bought these for you while you were at lunch with your mom." Rachel's finger held up four different colored thongs and matching bras hanging up by a hanger.

  "Wear the white thong, and no bra with that top. We'll meet you out in the living room."

  I dressed in the very little amount of clothing that I bought today. And I've never worn a thong before, it felt like a pure wedgie up my butt, but whatever. I pulled on the purple tube top and every time I pulled it up higher on my chest, it rose higher on my belly and more skin would show, but when I would pull the bottom down, the top would go lower, showing more cleavage then anything, and I wasn't wearing a bra.

  I groaned in defeat by a stupid piece of clothing that was fighting with me. I couldn't put myself in a bad mood; I was going to go see Tucker.

  I went into the bathroom one more time to check myself out. I couldn't believe the work Rachel had done to make me this beautiful. I lacked in the beauty department, not that I was an ugly person. I just didn't get how to use makeup. I loved the way the dark color brought out my caramel eyes, the red lipstick with my pale hair and skin, was just beautiful; I smiled. My outfit on the other hand, was the least amount of clothing I have ever worn, but the skin tight purple top, brought out the skinny curves at my sides, and the black mini skirt made my skinny white legs look super long. Shoes, I'm missing shoes.

  "Rach! What shoes?" I called out while walking out of my bedroom. Seeing Jade on the couch all ready to go, Rachel stood at her feet holding up a pair of purple pumps that matched my top perfectly. I slipped on the shoes, which were taller than what I was used to.

  "All right, let's go." And we left the apartment.

  We took a taxi to the club Times 3. I've never heard of it, but Rachel and Jade raved about it, telling me it the hottest club in New York right now. I still pulled at my top up and every time I did Rachel would swat my hands away and I would grunt in disapproval. Rachel then explained tha
t she gave up on primping Jade because Jade would either throw the clothes away or just burn them. Burning designer clothes, just saying it, broke Rachel's heart and I just giggled at the face she made. It was heartbreaking seeing her bottom lip, pushed up over the top in a big puppy dog frown.

  The club had a long line out front, but as Rachel walked up to the big bouncers and tossed her red hair over her shoulder, baring more skin. "Hey guys. How long's the wait?"

  The two men just look at each other. "How about a dance later, when I'm not working?" The bouncer asked and then winked.

  "You got it," Rachel clicked her tongue at him and he pulled the red rope free to let us in. The club was pounding away at the speakers, with music I was definitely not used to. Jade grabbed my hand to lead the way over to an empty table that faced the dance floor. The lights were fogged over and went in every direction while the bodies flooded the dance floor, grinding on each other. I have only seen this kind of dancing in movies, where the guys and girls ground all up and down on each other, with their hands on their butts.

  "Hey, Hey, Hey." I turned as Brad, Jett and Tucker came to our table. My eyes went straight to Tucker's as he sat across from me, which made me somewhat upset, as I wanted him next to me. He still wore the same outfit as before in the book shop, his hair was styled and flung over to the side. His eyes found mine as he just stared at me across the table with the little light flickering between us. The more he stared at me, the more I wanted to walk over to him and sit next to him. Of course, I couldn't, I didn't have the nerve yet. I looked back over at the dance floor and leaned on the metal railing, when the first round of drinks showed up at our table. Rachel and Jade lifted their drinks up and clinked their glasses together with Brad's and Jett's. Tucker sat still like me but he's eyes were now on the dance floor.

  "Gabs!" Rachel yelled at me.

  I leaned in closer to her, and even though we were sitting right next to each other, I still had to yell, "What?!"

  "Drink this!" She tried thrusting a drink at me and I shook my head. I was only nineteen, way under the influence. Rachel glared at me and thrusted the drink back at me. Giving in under peer pressure, I took the glass and took a sip. It wasn't that strong of a drink, but I could tell when the alcohol hit my stomach, causing it to burn my stomach lining.

  The last thing I wanted was to sip on it. I gulped the rest down in five seconds flat and cringed my face. I heard a chuckle and looked over at Tucker; he was smiling and still watching me. I smiled at him, his blue eyes were so intense and a strong pull started to happen between us. I couldn't tell if he was making me feel this way or the alcohol, but either way, I wanted him.

  Jett stood up, pulling Jade along with him, and Brad and Rachel followed leaving Tucker and I alone. The four of them went on to the dance floor and started dancing, getting lost into the bumping music while fading in the crowd.

  "Do you want to go dance?" Tucker yelled, but I didn't answer him; I just made my way over to the dance floor, hoping I was being sort of seductive, because that's what I was shooting for.

  The alcohol sure did make you brave when you would drink it. The things peer pressure does to you.

  I made my way onto the dance floor to let my body sway to the rap music. The only way I knew how to dance was up on my toes with straight legs to very soft, slow music. This music was different, so I just let my body move to the beat. My eyes were shut and my hips were moving back and forth when I felt a large pair of hands on my hips from behind me. I turned to face him, but when I opened my eyes, expecting Tucker, I was shocked to see that it wasn't. It was the African American who was at the coffee house. I tried to pull away, but he was a lot stronger than me and kept me in place. When I got ready to yell, he pushed a finger on my lips to silence me. I started to panic and shake. What was this man going to do to me? I didn't want to stick around to find out. I started to fight him, pulling my arms away when he locked both my wrists behind my back.

  His face was pressed up against my cheek as he spoke into my ear, "Stay away from Tucker – this is your warning," then gave me a little push, causing me to stagger back on my high heels into a group of people. Someone turned me around and I stared into the eyes of Tucker. I shoved at his chest to make him let go of me. I didn't understand why that man told me to stay away from him; it was the last thing I wanted. I didn't know anything about him, though. I was still shaking when I realized I was actually afraid of Tucker. He could be everything the news cautioned every girl about; a rapist, a murderer, a criminal. I tried to fight against him, but he wouldn't let go.

  "Let go of me!" I shrieked as he grabbed both of my wrists in his one hand.

  "Gabs, stop!" Tucker yelled.

  "Stay away from me!" All the thoughts of what he could do to me were making me more uneasy. I had to get away.

  "Let her go, Tuck!" Jett yelled from behind me and Tucker immediately let go. Jade wrapped an arm around my lower back and tugged me out a side door where smoking was allowed. I was trembling from Tucker and from the other guy who caused it all.

  Quickly, Jade lit up a cigarette and handed it to me. "It'll help calm your nerves."

  I puffed on it. It did help the shakes go away. When I finally felt calm enough to talk, I faced Jade who was smoking her own cigarette. "Who was that guy, Jade?"

  "Jett just said he's Brad's second boss, whatever that means. Jett is talking to Tucker about it, I guess."

  "So what does that mean?"

  "How the hell should I know?"

  Jade and I finished our cigarettes in silence and I was stubbing mine out when Jett walked outside. His black hair hung in front of his eyes and he chewed on his lip ring.

  "I'm sorry about that, Gabs. That's Brad's second boss; his name is Jeremiah and Brad owed him some money, so he was looking for him," Jett explained to me while rubbing the back of his neck. His brown eyes almost felt like they were pleading with me to believe him. Jett wasn't the type to lie; he was more Jade's style and tells you how it is. But then again, I only just met this group of guys earlier yesterday.

  "What does Brad do?" I asked.

  Jett let out a breath and stepped next to Jade. "I can't say. It's not right, though. You can trust Tucker; he's a good guy. Tuck helps Brad out when he can. You could be something to him, ya know? He likes you."

  The squeak of the door opened as Tucker stepped outside. My eyes locked with his and whatever that Jeremiah guy warned me about went good-bye. But I had some answers to find out. There was something about Tucker that I wanted; I couldn't quite tell what it was, but whatever it was, it was strong. I wanted him. Tucker walked towards me and held his hand out in front of my face. Not even thinking, I put my hand in his and he pulled me to him. The strong attraction was back between us. I felt if he would just hold me, it would all go away as if he was my shield. I wanted that. Who cares if I just met him? When you know, you know, and you should never let go.

  "I won't hurt you, Gabs. I promise," he reassured me, and all I could do was nod at him.

  We walked back inside the noisy club; the music was louder than before. We made it to the dance floor when a song came on that was familiar to me. I heard it in one of the stores with Rachel today. I couldn't remember any of the words; I just remembered the whistle part. I turned in Tucker's arms as he placed both of his hands on my hips to sway to the rap music. My arms went up around his neck as we started to move together while the beat played.

  Every time the whistle came, Tucker would whistle in my ear, sending rapid shivers down my spine and chills up my bare legs. I pressed closer to him as his hands roamed around my back, not going any further than my lower back. I felt his lips pressed against the crook of my neck and shoulder, and I was lost in him. I couldn't believe something this strong was happening so fast.

  We were so close, I couldn't tell where he ended and I began. Having him this close to me made me forget everything that Jeremiah guy warned me about him. Sooner or later, I would find out what he meant about Tucker, but not ri
ght now. I just wanted him as close to me as possible. My hands never left Tucker's long hair; it was soft to the touch. My fingernails scraped his scalp as he bit into my shoulder. My legs went to jelly and he pretty much had to hold me up. This was amazing; I had no idea dancing could feel this way. His hands got a little daring as he moved them down to my butt to press me closer.

  We continued to dance for at least five more songs, just grinding on each other. His hands were all over my body, from my butt up to my shoulders and every time he passed the sides of my breast, I would get chills that would spike down my back, leaving goose bumps on my hot skin. The club was getting hot because of all the bodies crowded on the dance floor. I really wanted some air and a drink; at this point, I didn't care if it had alcohol or not.

  I motioned with my hand up to my mouth, indicating to Tucker that I needed a drink; he nodded and led me off the dance floor. I scanned the club, looking for Rachel and Jade, but couldn't spot them. Tucker placed his hand on my lower back to have me follow him to the bar. A couple of guys were fighting and they got heaved out of the club at us. I stumbled and Tucker protected me as best as he could. I stumbled again and he pushed the group of wild men off me.

  Tucker waved his hand up to get the bartender's attention, ordered his drink, and then looked at me. I nodded and he held up two fingers. The bartender was fast at making our drinks; each had a slice of lime. Once we had them, we headed to the back door to go outside, and the empty space confirmed we were going to be alone with each other.

  Tucker hopped up on the ledge and took a sip of his clear liquid drink; I also took a sip and winced at the strong alcohol.